All You Need to Know to Host a Bridal Shower

Giving a wedding shower can be a fun but daunting task at best. Be sure you are ready to take on the task and in list the help of other close friends of the bride or mother of the bride. Be sure anyone you might ask to help is invited to the wedding.

Traditions and Etiquette

It used to be traditional for the maid of honor gave the bridal shower, but today's brides are often given many showers.It is inappropriate for family to give a shower as it looks like you are asking for gifts. Friends and co-workers and friends of the mother of the bride often request to honor the bride with a shower. If you are hosting a shower you might want to include some of the bride's or mother of the bride's close friends to help you. Be sure to include their name on the shower invitation. Often the bride will give a thank you gift to her hostesses. The hostesses will share responsibilities both financial and practical such as sending out invitations, cooking, arranging flowers and cleaning up afterwards.. Each host is responsible for keeping a list of their own expenses if you are all going to split the cost of the shower. Often you may go in together and purchase a larger gift for the bride.

When

The shower can be held anywhere from 2 months to 2 weeks before the wedding. Don't wait to have a shower too close to the wedding as the bride may be overly stressed by her duties.

Showers were traditionally given in the afternoon but any time is acceptable if convenient for the bride. Consider when guests are working and can attend. A shower just before a major holiday is probably not a good idea and some consider it to be in poor taste. You might want to give a guys and gals shower which includes the groom. I have given both and they are equally fun. Evening showers are more intimate when you can dim lights, light candles and maybe serve wine. A brunch would be given in mid to late morning.

Location

Decide the location. For guys and gals you might want to have an outdoor barbecue or a beach party. Typical bridal showers are held at the host's home or maybe an intimate restaurant with a room where you can be off to yourself. Give directions if necessary and include them on the invitation or use a star or asterisk with a phone number of the person's home who is hosting so guests will know who to call for directions and RSVP.

Theme

A theme can be fun but not mandatory. Themes include Linens; Guest will bring towels, sheets, dish towels,etc. A room in the house; Each guest is given a different room to give a gift for. Around the clock shower; Guests are assigned a time of day and purchase a gift the bride might use at that time. Holiday shower; this might include Christmas ornaments, stockings, champagne flutes for New Years, or Christmas China. Typically the bride will be registered at a store or two to help guests make their choices for gifts. The hostesses might want to give a single larger gift from all of them. Include the gift registry on the invitations.

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Invitations

Your invitations can either be formal or casual. Today evites. and even phone calls are acceptable. If it is not a surprise, you probably should include the bride in the planning and discuss her likes and dislikes for the time, whether you will include games or even serve alcohol. Be sure no one that is not invited to the wedding is invited to the shower . Have the bride or her mother provide you with the guest list and their address, email, and /or telephone numbers. Ask the guest to respond by RSVP or Regrets Only if you want a good count on how big the shower will be. Again leave a star or asterisk by the name of the host you want guests to RSVP to.

Menu

The shower itself should include food or light canapes. There are many great Punch recipes that can be found online or in a good cookbook. One punch I often serve is sherbet with white grape juice and ginger ale poured over the sherbet in a punch bowl. It is fun to make an ice ring with pansies or other edible flowers frozen within to add to the punch and dress it up. This would be done with a simple punch without ice cream or sherbet. A nice touch is to peel a cucumber and cut into thin slices.You can add fresh basil also. Pour ice cold water over the slice in a pretty pitcher. A brunch might include orange juice or mimosas, coffee, fruit, muffins, quiche or egg casseroles. You can make it formal and sit down with fine china or let the guests serve themselves and mingle. Barbecues are very easy and you can even enlist the guys for help. Use paper plates and cups in theme with the barbecue. You can even have your shower catered. Sometimes a traditional cake can be made or ordered for an extra touch. If you have a grocery that does make cakes they can often be as good as large bakery at half the cost.

Decorations

Flowers are a must. You want to make it festive. Traditionally red roses are always nice. A cake in honor of the bride and/or bride and groom is a nice touch but not necessary.Some hosts like to go beyond and include decorations using the theme. This might include the napkins, invitations, type of flowers, and other decorations such as streamers or balloons.

It is traditional in some instance to send each quest home with a small gift or favor or even a small box of cookies or candies . This is a choice and not a must. Some favor ideas include but are not limited too the small box of candy or cookies, a small picture frame with the guest name framed and used as a place setting card, small potted herbs in tiny terra cotta containers, or a small bud vase with a single flower.

Most of today's brides prefer not to play games although there are many options available. Games can be an ice breaker but if most of the guests know each other or have something in common with the bride they would probably prefer to just relax and mingle.

Don't get overwhelmed if you are hosting the shower. Yes your home should be clean but no one's house is perfect and it is unlikely that your friends will be judging you. Especially after you have been gracious enough to open up your home.

The Shower

Give yourself time to dress and relax before the shower begins. Try to have most of your duties and house cleaning done days before. You will be setting the mood so the more relaxed you are the better. Be sure your door bell is in working order. Sweep off your porch. Be prepared to give directions to your home or the restaurant.

Music is very nice to have playing in the background for lulls in conversation. You can make a nice play list ahead of time. You may have some great slow music or jazz cd's available. These would be perfect. Download some music from the bride's generation especially love tunes not too hard rock!!!!! I have included a list from Pottery Barn's website that you can download if you like or you could use a web music site like Pandora.

You might want to have name tag stickers if guests don't know each other or if it is a very large shower. This can make it easier on everyone included.

You should have already decided where everyone will congregate while the bride opens her gifts. Be sure you have sufficient seating, lighting and note paper,,pencil paper plate and trash bag for wrapping paper. Use the paper plate to attach the ribbons to.

Once everyone has had time to be greeted and have some food it is a good time for the bride to open her gifts. This can be a little intimidating for a young bride so have her mother or close friend sit next to her and assist with writing down the gifts and givers. Also have a paper plate available to put any ribbons on. Tradition has it that for each ribbon she breaks she will have that many children! She can then use the ribbon bouquet to walk down the isle with at the rehearsal.

Be sure someone like the groom or father of the bride is lined up to arrive toward the end of the shower to help transport the gifts..

Once your guests have gone sit down and relax. You did it .Cleaning can wait. Congratulations!!!

Some links you might enjoy

Ways to relax before the shower:

http://www.xomba.com/how_to_relax_and_calm_your_nerves_before_a_big_party

Tips for house cleaning:

http://www.housecleaning-tips.com/

Shower games:

http://www.blissweddings.com/library/games.asp

• 5 weeks out- Get together with bride and any friends to make plans

• 4 weeks out- Send out invitations
• 3 weeks out- Buy any necessary supplies and decorations and make favors
• 2 weeks out- Iron table cloth, Clean house, Purchase remaining non-perishable food stuff
• 1 week out- Decide on what you will wear, get any necessary china and silver
• 2 days out- Finish decorating and cook non perishables, purchase or plan to have flowers delivered, cut the grass.sweep porch, Be prepared to give directions
• 1day out- Do once over on house, finish up cooking, arrange flowers,arrange furniture and set our clean hand towels
• Day of -Get dressed, make punch, set out food, water and favors and relax.

Here is a sample playlist that can be downloaded from itunes via http://www.potterybarn.com/stylehouse/playlists/bridal_shower.html

Song 1 You and Me by Lifehouse

2 The Way I am by Ingrid Michaelson

3 If I Ain't Got You by Alicia Keys

4 Better Together  by Jack Johnson

5 At Last by Beyonce'

6 Somewhere only We Know by Keane

7 The Way you Look tonight by Michael Buble'

Pottery Barn

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